Preface

So this is the kind of book nobody ever reads. I have no visions of grandeur. I'm writing it for myself and hoping someday that someone may find interesting it. It's more about self discovery which I'm sorely lacking now almost 50 years old I find myself vaguely remembering my pass and wished to rekindle thoughts. I am the bad guy in this book make no mistake. I hope someone reads it make some excuse for my life I cannot find one. But this they're really is excuse for anyone's life. I had goals and met them. I failed in many respects. Okay a lot of  respects. I hope if anyone stumbles over them and find it mildly interesting that they might not make the same mistakes I did. You'll excuse my artistic license. Part of it is fiction of course let mainly the overriding themes are correct. Part of the reason for the ruse is my bad memory but the other parties my life at points for boring so it wouldn't even be worth reading. Anyway here it goes. I pray for Mercy.

Bon voyage

"Are we there yet?" I inquired. "No we just left?"
I was only 11 years old. Fresh from Florida on a long trip with my uncles. Roy and Herman Smith. It was a painful trip.

My father had seven brothers and sisters. He was the baby like me. They were a poor family. I do not believe they where all that close. I am not even sure what my grandfather who I was named after occupation was. Maybe he worked at a manufacturing plant.
Roy and Herman were best friends. After the Korean war, they had gone west and did some work where they were handsomely paid. They were both fairly wealthy. Uncle Herman lived like a hermit drinking beer in an old rundown house behind his former restaurant. They bought some land wisely and the land became a gold mine. Roy on the other hand lived quite nicely and had children and a wife and was living the dream. It was rumored that his children were to get all of Herman's money when he died.
"Are we there yet?" again asking "No we have only been on the road for two hours."
I remember the car was a late model car. A Cadillac I think top-of-the-line. Leather seats, power steering, power brakes, nice radio, everything you could possibly want in a car. All I really remember was billowing smoke and struggling to breath. Yes were were trapped in a car with with two drunks who required continuous smoke in their lungs.
 "I want to go back home" I demanded "Your new home is in Tennessee" one of the uncles replied.
About half way though we got stuck in about four feet of snow in Georgia. So we stopped at a cheap hotel. A hotel with a wet bar. So more joyous time with the uncles but this time in a smoke filled room neither one of them were sober of course.
"I want to roll down the window" gasping for breath. "OK a little bit" as my uncle took a break from the smoldering cigarette to push the auto window button, I put my mouth to the crack to get some fresh air.
 Did I mention that I have asthma?  Yes a condition that affects breathing. If you were wondering does smoke help asthma? I would have to give that a resounding no. The whole trip was topped off with Uncle Roy locking the door and windows.  Cherry to the sundae.
Again in a smoke filled room trying to sleep as I was bone tired.
I wish I remember more parts of this trip but maybe the smoke affected my brain. The memory of the trip is quite limited. Just shadows of smoke and smells of alcohol.
Still trying to soak in what has happened
I was not in a good state of mind. I was just sad or in shock or just plain unhinged. You see my father just died. His death was a by product of this job. You see he was a bartender and drank himself to death.
His bothers and sisters thought is was imperative that I see him in his coffin. It is normal in many cultures but I did not take to this ritual. You see I just saw him puking up blood and a few days later he was dead.
One of my dads friends collected money for us in memory of papa. I heard he got thousands of dollars. But his friend must not of been the best of them. He was nice enough to relieve us of all of it and we never got any. And if he's reading this now I would like to say to him a sincere fuck you.
 Sleeping by my sister in the hotel room the memories are smothering as the smoke that is now a persistent part of my life.
They also shot some Polaroids (instant pictures). So I got to add to my misery by continually getting to see the pictures of my dead dad. No he did not look good. He looked dead and no longer my dad.
While the caring aunts and uncles were deciding what to do with us we were stored with my Aunt Kay.
There was quite a bit of discussions as to where we should go. My dad had arranged  that we should go to a home funded by the Eagle club. One of the many private clubs that he worked for and or belonged to. The family had decided no we should go live with my aunt in Tennessee. 
My Aunt Kay's house was nice. She was a  the x-wife of Uncle Herman. When I say nice, well that is an understatement. It was a nine bedroom house. Every room was a theme  in a different color. A TV in every room. I was in the blue room.
When you walked into the back yard, well there was the ocean. I know I was young but man this was a nice house.  I did not want to leave. This was the closest I had ever seen to paradise. Having a TV in every I watched a lot of TV. She had cable. One the the show that I continually watched was called The Beverly Hillbillies.
They where from Tennessee. They thought the swimming pool was a "cement pond." The smartest one did not finish Jr. High. The pool table was a fancy dinner table. I mean they were just plain backwards. This was where I was headed.
I did not have the skills to assess my own "backwardness." I was a slow kid. Granted I did not have anyone to encourage my matriculation. I was a loser in school. That did not help the fact I was really apprehensive to move there.  I failed fourth grade usually they wouldn't have failed me but dad failed to show up for the meeting so there I was in fourth grade again Lucky me. I remember the school being Armstrong Elementary school.
I guess many people started their life again. With misery and heartache much worse than mine. Again I never seen this part of life. But I was not leaving a happy place. I was leaving the ghetto of Florida a in Punta Gorda. A roach infested house with my father who was not around that often.
Many of the neighbors for drug dealers. Who live in the same ghetto I did but enjoyed big-screen TVs and BMW cars. It doesn't seem like I was that scared. Again maybe I was just too dumb to be afraid.
I remember one time one of the neighbors killed a turtle. Seemed to me a be about 3 foot wide it was a really huge thing maybe a tortoise and not a turtle. He cut off the head and hung it upside down to eat later. I'm happy to say I never tasted it but for some reason it made me sad.
"Are we there yet" I said inpatient and struggling to breathe. But we were nearly there.. Tennessee's the place you are to be..

The Joker's Pride

So I love Batman. I mean who does not? I think Batman v. Superman was just plain stupid. I mean the action scenes were good but Superman was portrayed as a stupid superhuman. I mean super hearing. x-ray vision, Super breath, Laser eyes and he can move a whole planet
.
Batman in a robot suit with some kryptonite kicked his ass. Are you kidding me? When would a super smart alien engage with a man in a metal suit? Especially not knowing what he has?  A few well placed laser shots and Batman is cooked like a thanksgiving turkey. Anyway I guess that would not have made much of a movie.

OK rant finished.

What an acquaintance and I  where arguing was if anyone would really follow the Joker. I mean a real Joker.. A man with apparent makeup , green hair and just crazy ranting.

He argued the Joker in the Suicide Squad was more believable than the ones in the Batman movies. To me he just seemed gay. I really liked Heath Ledger's dark portrayal. I also liked Jack as Batman better than the Suicide Squad. Still each one of them were dressed as clowns.

You are pulling my leg right. No one would seriously follow someone like that? Think that if you followed him. You would have to be willing to die for a real life Joker.  Die for no reason really.

In many hero movies you see the "good guy" fighting hundreds of "bad guys". The good guys are killing them by the dozens and the bad guys keep coming. These guys are dying for a paycheck? I think in real life, once one bad guy died the rest would be like: "No paycheck is work this. Bad guy out". 

We both made various arguments on why any one would follow our favorite Joker. So why would any one follow someone with an abnormal hair color? What about a strange hair color. What about a wild and ranting personality?  Says what ever he wants to regardless to the consequences to other? 

Well it seems we got our answer. As this describes our current president to a t. No I am not just making fun of him. You think that is a normal hair color or style. What about his clownish skin color? Anyone with eyes know that is not a real tan. His Twitter rants with out care as to they hurt? 

Now you say he does not have a psychiatric personality . The willingness to kill without reason? The only time we have known trump to kill people. He looked at some pictures of children that were purportedly killed by gas by the government of Syria. He sent a gaggle of rockets to kill people. 

So was it a well reasoned response to a response to a problem with long term solution in mind? I don't think so. I think it was a emotional response to a situation. The response was to kill and why kill because of the way the pictures made him feel. 

So as much as the 40 some percent of the population of America would argue otherwise. We are now being led by the Joker from Batman.  Congrats!

The magician's fallicy

So Atheism is the stupidest religion ever. So the Atheist point in life is to prove the unprovable. That there is no God. No creator. No pure goodness. No reason to live and no reason to die.  Science rules!
The only goodness is that which you decide is good. No ten rules to guide your life.
Any thought of God is just a fairy-tale. Yes a fairy-tale. I have another fairy-tale I would like to tell.
A big explosion happens, No we don't know why this explosion happened but we are sure no sentient being had nothing to do with it. It slang a perfectly round sphere in a perfect proximity to a star which it must have created too. The star was the perfect size and temperature by accident.
After a while a substance fell from the sky into water. Which by no means but pure coincidence it got mixed up and created a being. That being became some sort of fish. The fish grew legs and went to land. The thing that was a fish and grew legs through pure chance changed in to what is now humans which took a very long time. They lived happy ever after then they died.
In my mind all those coincidences are so unlikely. I don't think the odds are even calculable. This is a simplified version of the "science" and all these things happen without any origin force. It started all by itself. Atheist believe that even if someone started this it could not be God because it does not match the ones in religion stories.
The religion stories. Goes God created everything in seven days out of nothing. He did this with his power which was never referred to as magic. 
I call this article the magician's fallacy because of Penn of Penn and Teller. I respect him greatly. His thinking about politics align with mine quite well. When he starts talking about religion, to me he sounds quite foolish. I think you could consider either of these stories fairy tales. Magic goo falls from the sky after an explosion shake and stir. A million or two years later boom man. The other says seven days and boom man.
What is the difference between the two stories? The "God one" has a beginning. The goo one has no beginning and if it does it discounts the being because it don't fit the model they want. If I have to choose on I would choose the God one. Not just because it has a beginning but because it has a center. It has kindness and a future.
How could God create everything in seven days? We have evidence that it took way longer.  Well if you read the bible, you read later that a day can be a thousand years and a thousand days a year. What would time be to God.
Science has no kindness. No beginning. No forever.   No happy ending. So even if both of these stories are really fairy-tales? Which would be better for human kind to follow?  There are rules or the rules are what you think they should be or there is a beginning and something after the end? We should be kind to each other. Or the strongest should survive? Science just has no answers just more questions. With religion you really don't need all the answers.
My hope is that you pick the right color pill and don't get stuck with magic.

The Bot's Delight and My Dad's Life

Today I just can't decide to write about. My mind has gone through some of the subject that I like to think about such as Lebron James, Trump, Reagan and more on my childhood. I even surveyed the readers of my blog. The five bots who never misses an entry had no suggestions. I learned a new word: serendipity. It still may make the list. I am thinking that the bots are waiting with baited breath to read that one.
The real reason I am writing is that I have no idea how my dad thought. He died when I was 11. I have vague memories of the man. Most good but not all. He was a "good" drunk. In other words when he hit the sauce he did not hit anyone else.
They called him Charlie Brown after the comic strip. I think mainly from his bad luck and Charlie Brown like bald head. He was a bar tender. Served drinks with a smile. People enjoyed his company. He was charming as he had seven wives. There where many good thing about him.
I have many good memories. I remember watching the Miami Dolphins on Sundays. I remember going to the movies and him always falling asleep. He was probably recovering from a hang-over or from working until early in the morning. He was also a very clean person who always ironed his clothes.
He also had his flaws. He was racist. Cannot remember how many times he used the N word. He was not good at making money. Did I mention that he served alcohol for a living? He was not stable. Did I mention the seven wives? He left us with several questionable "baby sitters"
He died at forty nine years of age.  I miss him everyday. But I only knew him for brief periods in his short life. He was not an educated man and don't remember him writing anything beyond a check.
I hope that I will no be in that situation. I hope that when I die people are only a google away from know how I though and what I thought about. They will also know my bad grammar and obsessive thinking. I am hoping that spell check will hide my awful spelling.
While I share many of my dad's traits, I wish I shared others. This is my attempt at simply leaving tracks and signs of life. Any way it gives the bots something to do.

Compare and Contrast

I come from the land of the free. Yes America. Now I am in SE Asia in Cambodia. Supposedly a country that lacks the freedom of America. I thought an interesting entry would be to compare and contrast the the two vastly different countries.

Taxes
The vast majority of Cambodians have never paid taxes. Only the small middle class and super rich pay taxes. I don't know of any forms for personal taxes. 

Now in America if you don't pay taxes someone with a gun will show up and ask why. You may  well I don't make enough to file taxes. Well they will break into your house and bank accounts to make sure you did not make enough to pay taxes.

School 
So if you don't want your children to go to school. Well there is nothing to say. It is up to you and your child weather they want a good life and go to school. Many are too poor and must generate income for the family to eat. There are also some who simply do not want to go and they don't go.

Well most know what happens if you don't go to school in the free country. Yes they have a jail cell with your child's name and possibly yours too. Yes in the land of the free you are forced to go to school. If you beg the state you can teach your child at home. You may also if rich enough send them to a private school if the government approves.

Trade
The market is free. You have people without government permission, going from door to door selling goods. Fruit, household goods, meats, mobile restaurants all trolling the streets providing their neighbor with what they want and need. They don't pay taxes as all family owned businesses are exempt from paying taxes.
In Americas even if you could make money with some door to door product. You must register with the government, pay taxes and meet the requirements of your business. The government would put a stop to the barely usable equipment use by the Khmer street sellers. All used to protect the well established businesses.

Driving
In the US the police do not take bribes. While I try to choke back my laughter, you can say they at least don't collect their bribe on the street. The days of giving breaks to drivers who make mistakes are over. They need the non-bribe money to support their at least adequate salaries and other city services. Sometime is even for road safety.
I could go on about this a bit but even without harming anyone or even having the potential to harm anyone they can ruin your life. With the guise of public safety they strip their citizen of money for even the smallest of infractions. Need that money.

Medicine
Lets say you get sick and you are pretty sure you know the medicine you need. The American government requires you visit a high priced doctor. You pay him your $100 and tell him what medicine you would like. He takes your temperature and pokes you a few time and usually give you the medicine you needed in the first place.
If you are really sick on the other hand, America is the place to be. Oh but they will refuse you service if you don't have money. Yeah that is rich. They refuse you service and you die your children will be set for life.
If you are sick in Cambodia and you know what you need. You walk or ride to the pharmacy and buy the drugs you need. Almost any drug and if you don't know what you the pharmacist will help you buy suggesting drugs that suit your needs.

I could go on. Later I might but most parts of your day to day life is left alone in the supposedly less free country. In the free country, not so much. You need permission to go pee. I am not be metaphorical. When you pee in the wrong place they may arrest you or fine you. While some of the safety nets provided by the government are nice. If you really think about it, is the US really the land of the free?

Where is the red line?

Many on the right really mocked President Obama when he was president and he made a red line on Syria. Saying if they use gas to kill the opposition that US would enter the war.  After he made the red line, Syria reported crossed the red line by using gas.
He did nothing. Well how can you make a red line and do nothing? I guess he was bluffing.
As a young republican I always believed that Republican had red lines on many issues. They were for the all American family. Family values they said. God fearing they said.
When Clinton was getting blow-jobs in the Oval office they were a gasp. Shocked and dismayed that such a man could hold the great office of president of the sunited states.
Now, I guess we are a new brand of Republican. We support pussy grabbers. Yes pussy grabbers make the best presidents. All you have to say is "gym talk". Which means yes I went acound asulting women but I am still going to be president.
Is that all? No I tell you there is more. We now love tariffs which we apply without going to congress under the guise of national security. Yes our beloved friends are now national threats. Canada the land of the friendly are now equal to Russia and China.
So what is a tariff? Well it is a tax. Yes the party of low to no taxes. Is now the party of taxes. Yes the income tax is lower. By most estimates the income tax will soon to be offset by higher product cost at the store. This basically makes your tax decrease at best offset at least can cause an economic meltdown.
But Wane we lose all those jobs. Yes you do but when they dump products  they are giving away their their money. So they are taking jobs in the short term but in the long term they are taking from their economy and adding to yours. Trump is only about what feels good or looks good now.
That must be it right? I mean the party is basically the same except that right?
Well sadly not. We now compare Nazi killers to people who are protesting them. And how does the equation come out? Well their are bad people on both side. So the leader of the republican party has led us to the pro-Nazi party.
Ok that was just a fluke we are still the party of personal dignity. Well the president has used his power to degrade not only citizens. The list of people that the personally attacked is long. These are the people that the government is supposed to protect. He as leader of the party talked about their physical weakness as well as the mental.
You are ranting Wane. Yes a bit but look at what he has done to my party. We are the pussy grabber party. We are the child kidnap party. We steal the kids of parents who came the our country for help.
We have moved from the party of a thousand points of light to a thousand points of darkness. So where is the red-line for the party. There is none. You can always hope the party changes direction but with the support of Mr. Cruel through the roof in the republican party. Perhaps an ass kicking during the mid-term could help.
The red-line of family values is non-existent. We have a president that changes wife as often as he changes his underwear. As real conservatives like George Wills are leaving the party makes us pine for real conservatives like slick Willie.

The grinch that stole winning.

Are you tired of wining?  That is what Donald Trump told us and I for one did not believe him. But yes I am tried of wining.. Winning is always good right?
There was an episode of How I met your Mother. Yes I am a big fan. Barney said that new is always better. Then they offer him a glass of new grape scotch or 50 year-old Glen McKenna. It proved that new is not always better.
In the same way winning is not always good. You can play a game of  basketball with your friend to 10 and totally dominate him. 10-0 Come to find out your friend did not enjoy being crushed. He no longer wants to be your friend. Yeah you won! In his face.
So lets review you won a game. It is a short term gain. You lost a relationship. Did you really win?
This is how Donald Trump is handling our foreign relations. He is trying to crush our friends because in some strange context we allow them to have "wins". Donald does not have friends. So friendship means nothing.
Like Canada is now according to Trump a national security threat. Canada the most friendly country in the world. We have the largest border in the world with them. They follow us to any war we want to go to. They are the ones who are the threat?
Canada is like Robin to our Batman. Now we are scared of Robin. They are awful. All the friendliness. The kindness they show America is just awful. Probably has something to do with Trump's mom not loving him so he could not get friends. Now he thinks friends are just people who wants
We can win at the boarder too. All we have to do is take babies from their parents. Once it gets around how cruel and ruthless America is to those poor people in need. They will stop showing up at our border.
We can win at business too.  All we have to do is roll back the protections that keep banks honest. The protections to the environment. Smog everywhere.
I am against abortion. Sorry I just am. I don't believe that removing a few cells from your body that have not yet formed a person is abortion. Once the it has a head well that is a baby and you don't have long until that happens.
It is the woman's body you say. The baby can not live outside the woman  you say. Well people in commas in hospitals can not live outside the hospital. The hospital is owned by someone. So that person should be able to kick those people out if they want?
I hate the fact that any judge only either side only follows their feelings and not the law. Anyone who joins the court will not be cool with me.

So not I don't want to win by kicking puppies. Thanks Trump for ruining winning for us. 

Who is the best cook?

Ask a Chef or a cook who is the best cook they know. More than not you can guess their answer. Some famous chef at a four start restaurant? Perhaps someone famous like Gordan Ramsey. No, most likely it will not be either.

So the suspense is killing me Wane. Who could this mysterious person be? Well the answer is quite simple: Mom. Yes that woman who carried you in her belly or took over when that person let you down. 

Now I am going to write about a subject that I am not an expert. As my that is not my favorite cook. My "mother" left when I was a just a tot. Now as a tot of course I have no recollection of this event. Then I was taken by the state as has happened off and on through my life. I again unable to remember any of this.Was able to live my dad a while latter and finally ended in a 'group home'. Where you have house parents assigned to you. So they were charged with taking care of ten boys or so.

Never really bonded with any of them. They tried their best at this impossible job. To take care of so many boy who lost their families. Many abused. Most of us where not the brightest bulb in the house either.

So who as my favorite cook? I was probably Aunt Jo. Aunt Jo was my Uncle Gene's wife. She was a great cook. I was able to stay at her house once a week. She however usually did not cook a meal but time to time she would and man it was good southern cooking. Now I don't remember any of the dishes that she cooked.

What I do remember, is anything that Aunt Jo put the time and love to make. It was great. Now my other aunts and cousins could cook well too. If the southern gene kicked into a woman, the grub was quite tasty. My father had six bothers and sisters who all had their excuse for not adopting us ( I have a older sister too)

So why her, I think it is the same reason that most people find their mom's food preferable to anyone else.   The L word. Yes love. While Aunt Joe had her own kids that she loved and I was an intruder in her house. She never had a bad word to say about me. I thought I was a good kid but most of my family did not.  Maybe that is a story for another post. I did not get in much trouble. I did not excel in anything. I am not sure what made me a bad kid.

There is something about taking something from someone you love and making it part of you. Now I really wish that I had the mother - son relationship I really do. To have someone love you unconditionally and only wish to have good things for you at the expense of their own happiness. Now multiply that by the number of meals for say sixteen years. You are basically part of your mom's cult.

You see many moms who mentally black-male their children. Yet the children consonantly capitulate to her whims.  Along with the other emotional attachments that I am in no way qualified to talk about. The food bond is strong.

Now you can equate it with the sex you have with your wife. Non recreational sex is probably the strongest bond that you can get with another person. How come most people when the wife is not around will still say mom is the best. Time. How many meals have you had and the bonding from bottle to solid food with your mom? That is the some strong bonding to have with one person.

I wish I was writing out of experience and not jealously. Food bonds us together. Someone said that the real Laurence of Arabia was cornered one time and they had a meeting to determine his fate. They had decided that they could not kill him because he had eaten at the table of one the Princes present. When you eat with someone it is harder to hate them. But to be feed with warmth and caring is almost overwhelming.

What tastes good?

When you where young think about what you loved to eat? For me it was the hamburger, the great American fast food hamburger. Bread, meat (beef I think) , some sort of veggie such as lettuce, pickle with way too much mayo, mustard and cheese.

In school I loved the processed pizza and fries. The pizza was cut into rectangles with mystery substances that resembled cheese, sauce and  meat that tasted like sausage. These were the magic food or food like substances that brought joy to me.

You may ask why.Why Wane Burgers and pizza. I have to go back to my not bad childhood but maybe sad childhood. I got 10 cents for every year I was alive for allowance. If you worked on chores that were not your normal jobs you could make more. So at 14 years old I got $1.40 etc. So at that rate you could not practly eat at McDonald's or anywhere else.

I did have family that came and seen me on Sundays and would take me to eat out sometimes. I would look at disbelief as the other children could not only buy a car. They could stop at their choice of eating establishment and order the meal of their choice.

Now image this. Put fresh water fish in a jar and let it sit for 3 weeks.  This is a food substance that many Khmer loves. It is called brohaught (bro-hot). You eat it with rice of coarse and veggies.

They put out a mat along with other Khmer foods, beer and maybe palm wine. Sit and talk loud. Generally having a good time and get drunk.

This is what many Khmer would say what they would pine for when they think of their childhood. Their childhood stories would make mine look very happy. They would look at my childhood except the missing parents and say damn I would love that life.

Contrast those favorite foods though.How could that be? So different.

I believe that if I grew up in Cambodia maybe brohaught would be my favorite. I don't like to eat cats, dogs and horses. That is only because I grew up where I did. Food for thought.

You can be an Artist too!

A friend of mine once said "Anybody can be an artist." How can that be you might ask? Are you saying that anyone can have the vision of Picasso?  The brilliance of Leonardo Da Vinc?

No, No you can not. But you said..? I know what I said. Yes, you can become and artist.  You can become a very good artist. You can most likely make money being an artist. How? Study and practice.

The bible loosely says "for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." You can look at the context for yourself. But basically means you spend your time, your money on what you love. 

If you don't spend your time where your love is? Then you are wasting your life. This is your own opinion of what you love. You don't do it. It is your own fault. 

As art is only an example. I wanted to be a auto mechanic when I was young. After that because of my brother-in-law I wanted to be an accountant. As I tested the waters IT ended up as the place that I really wanted to be. 

I am about as bright as a well trained dog. My school grades were bad. While attending university, I did not really have the skills to do well either. I had the attention span of a squirrel on coffee. 

Over the years with a large amount of effort I have gained some control of my facilities. I have promoted my brain to that of a squirrel with no caffeine. Not sure what day was my enlightenment day.

With my set of sills I can do things that other programmers can not. I can also do things things that other system administrators can not. I have in short become a valuable member of any IT team. That was my goal. 

Well my real goal was to make over $100k a year before I died which I did also. As someone with no parents, living in a group home. Making $100k before I was 30 was a good accomplishment. 

So take small steps work hard and you can be what you want. Not sure if I ended where I wanted but I am there. Boy! this one ended cheesy. That is OK I am just practicing.

Is Karma still a thing?

Karma is reportedly from Hinduism and Buddhism. It means that you get as much as you give. If you are a dick head now you will pay for it later. In this life time or the next. Save a baby and good things are on the way for you.

There are examples of these. Just type "instant karma" on YouTube and you will be granted a barrage of guys kicking a baby and turning around and getting his balls cut off. Someone finding a million dollars and returning it the owner gives him half anyway.

 What brings my mind to this today is that my sister-in-law's motor-scooter was stolen today. Well last night. It was her prized possession.  She is poor by any measure.. Lives in a one room "apartment" that has an outside bathroom she shares with others in the building. She had to buy it from her husband in her divorce.

You could see the thieves in the video breaking the lock. Moving the Tuk-Tuk that was in the way. Pushing the bike to the door and then driving away. They took part of her dreams and her life with them.

One of the guys that works with me joked they probably lost money on the world cup soccer games (Pre-Karma?) They were probably poor too. Their prospects brighten by the gain of perhaps $500 US.

In your life you have seen the opposite happen too. Someone at work never really does anything and becomes  your boss. Someone who works really hard.Ask for help and quits when they don't get it. They hire 2 people to replace him.

You can see rich people who steal from others. Stars that treat people like shit. What is their karma? More money. More fame.The Buddhist would say they will pay in the next life.

If you pay in your next life, how is that Karma? You have no idea what you did wrong in your former life? If the person is introspective they may be tormented by what bad things they did.

Sweeney Todd said

"Because the lives of the wicked should be made brief!
For the rest of us, death will be a relief
We all deserve to die!"

We have all done bad..We all hope for forgiveness... and that we will not get what we deserve.

No Rice No Food

No rice no food sounds a bit strange. It is essential to understanding the Khmer. Khmer is how Cambodians refer to themselves in their language. At the most simple 'No rice No Food' means that you have to have rice to have had a proper meal.

Let's say if you go out for pizza, a well loved a appreciated food for the Khmer. Man are you hungry. You go to Pizza Company (not a Cambodian company) and order 2 extra large pizza. Two bastardized pizzas with what they call hotdogs in the crust. Although not what I really call pizza it is tasty enough and you pay the bill. After get in the tuk-tuk or moto-dop and go home.
While most westerners (barrang) would stagger home (because of the beers), flop on the bed and fall in to a food induced comma. Perhaps waking up to pee from all the beer.

If you are paying attention you know is what is wrong if you replace the westerner with a Khmer in that scenario. They have not properly eaten.  They had crust, cheese, hotdog, pizza sauce (sort of) and maybe seafood. What they have not had is rice.

What in English has only one word, in Khmer has at least 3 in Khmer.They have a name for cooked rice (bhi) , a name for uncooked rice (anchor) and for rice not yet picked from the plant(srov.) Most of their ancestor's lives have been centered around the production and consumption of rice. So when they get home they must eat at least some rice. 

As one of us you may think this is nuts. Your stomach is full but still eat rice. It is not about the the nourishment or the desire to fill one's stomach. It is the desire to find that thing in life that is most important and not live without it for even one time. Here rice leads to money, to a live without hunger,to everything that makes life worth living.

As with most countries the old is making way with the new and the rice centered life is slowly fading.

In America we had some ideals that kept our country centered. Values such as freedom and protecting each other especially the poor and the weak. It is being replaced with the Trump view of the world. Anyone less than you needs to be kept in their place. Hurting people because of their race or country of origin is ok. Women are to be used as long as they are young and beautiful and discarded soon after. Friends are just commodities and enemies are to be admired and embraced for their corruption of power.  It is ok for someone powerful to try to hurt the powerless.

Most of us people who are not good in the best sense have found the wrong thing to center our lives. Food, drink, sex the pursuit of the the wrong thing I really thought these kind of people where a minority in the US.. Seem like many more people than I could have imaged centered their lives on hate. Always grabbing for the wrong thing.